new post category

i’m starting a new post category called “unfun” for talking shit about things that block fun, fake fun, imposter fun, talking shit, etc.

talking shit is fun.

“do unto others…” yes, go to the Hate Mail page and click the link to write me an email about me directly to me. let it out. feels good.

grass sucks

or lawns, i guess. lawns suck.

spending effort and energy maintaining a useless, non-native plant is inherently stupid.

having lawns was invented by the rich to show off how much land they could waste.

now it’s required of homeowners, with no alternative allowed.

the grasses we’ve bred to not be spikey to the foot now contain entophytes that are toxic to grazing animals. the animals removed and the output thrown away.

insane

touch grass

people have started saying “go touch grass” to chronically online people, implying they’ve lost touch with nature, biology, and reality.

but grass itself is also completely disconnected from those things.

we should say “go touch nettle” haha that’s meaner and funnier. and more closely connected with reality. perfect for someone who fell for some rage bait.

did you and your childhood friends dare each other to touch nettle? #redbull

or at least “go touch tree bark.” rough and good and real.

replacing soft/fake bullshit with more soft/fake bullshit is not the solution. it’s not doing anything at all.

takeaway

so the whole chain is fakeness stacked on fakeness. pasture became decoration, decoration became pixels, and now the advice for getting real is to go stare at the middle link.

if you actually want to feel something real, go touch an electric fence. or punch yourself in the face.