Respect

The weather is one of the only gods we haven’t killed.

We are all still the weather’s bitch.

Respect the weather or suffer. It’s not about love it’s about reverence.

Small Talk

is a mini worship session for the weather.

Don’t talk shit about small talk. Learn how to say interesting things.

Compare weather apps with each other.

Reflect on how epic a certain weather event was.

Complaining is fine. This isn’t JHWH we’re talking about here.

Trade tips with one another.

There is no bad weather, just bad clothes

Buy an awesome rain jacket.

Rain pants even.

Rain boots, duh.

Stop thinking it’s effete to carry an umbrella.

Wear wet clothing when it’s hot.

Get awesome sunglasses.

HATS

Winter boots

Fur coats

Long underwear

These are our ritual objects for worshipping the weather.

Your life will be better when you think it’s fun to ride bikes in a snow storm.