Only one thing really works

And it’s being wet.

Make your clothes wet. Make your hair wet.

Shoot yourself with a squirt gun.

Blast yourself with a water balloon.

Jump in the lake fully clothed.

Wash your clothes and put them on soaking wet.

Oh no it’s unprofessional to be wet

Then just quit your job. Fuck it.

Is being all sweaty better? No, it stinks.

What doesn’t work

• Eating ice cream makes your body warm up to equilibriate
• Fans only make a difference if you’re wet
• Air conditioners are pure shit. Fight me.
• Drinking water doesn’t cool you. WTF? Who isn’t drinking water anyway?
• Beer doesn’t work. I don’t think anyone said it would but it doesn’t.

Just fuck it

Summer sucks and it’s fun to hate summer.

Just be wet and who cares?