invisible pants

unless your pants are orange or something crazy, you can wear the same ones every day and no one will notice.

try it. wear the same jeans every day for a month and count how many people notice. i guarantee the answer will be zero.

you can save so much money. just buy one good pair and wear them every day.

invisible human

be old. old people are invisible. you can walk around doing crimes when you’re old and no one will catch you because they can’t see you.

once i found a bicycle bell on the sidewalk and took it home. later that day, the police knocked on my door: the bike bell had an airtag hidden inside, so that if the bicycle was stolen, the owner would know its location. the bike was stolen and the airtag was in my home. the moment i opened the door, the policeman deflated. there was no way this old person could be the thief. i gave him the bicycle bell back. no further investigation was neccessary.

what if i really had stolen the bike? they would never know because they couldn’t see me. i am invisible. IT RULES!!

“but don’t you miss all the attention…” no. i don’t.

when i was younger, i couldn’t wait to be old, so people would leave me alone. now i am old, and being invisible rules even harder than i thought it would. there are so many benefits.

if you are young and cannot old yourself, try an ugly outfit you found in the trash. it works.